i've always felt like an outsider, even before i fully understood what that meant. back in the early 90s, i was teaching at a community college in jersey city, a place rife with homophobia despite being a short trip from the stonewall inn.
it was a challenging environment, to say the least.
i recall one particular student, fresh out of rikers island, who made a point of always facing me head-on, seemingly denying me any view of his backside.
my life back in brooklyn was somewhat more queer-friendly, but as the years passed, my social circle increasingly consisted of heterosexual couples, like my wife, angela, and me.
while we certainly had gay friends, and homophobia was generally frowned upon, it felt like the broader culture was shifting.
marriage equality was becoming commonplace, and societal barriers against queerness appeared to be crumbling. even donald trump, upon his election, suggested that same-sex marriage, along with cannabis legalization, were progressive issues he wouldn't oppose.
perhaps there were simply too many republican queers who enjoyed a smoke for him to object.
as i walked towards what i thought was my hotel in são luís, i began to question my assumption that ian's offer was romantic. maybe he just wanted company, someone to practice english with, or perhaps he needed money.
whatever the reason, i had abruptly and rather foolishly left him.
now it was pouring rain, so i sought shelter in a doorway. this led to a series of unsettling moments. drunk, disoriented, and frustrated with myself, i wandered aimlessly through the surrounding streets, periodically stopping under awnings to put on my glasses and try to use google maps on my dying phone.
i started to worry about the consequences of not finding my way that night.
could i actually drown in this downpour? finally, after what felt like hours but was likely only minutes, i reached what i thought was the right street, but the small colonial building housing my hotel seemed to be playing hide-and-seek.
across the street, i saw a bar with a few people inside.
i considered going in, ordering another drink, taking a breath, and waiting for my phone to regain its senses so i could plot my course. but as i approached, a woman, probably the owner, rushed to the door and gestured that i couldn't enter.
it wasn't because i was a foreigner, or because i was drunk, or because my polo shirt was inside out.
it was because i was already dripping water all over her floor, just standing at the entrance. i hesitated for a moment, as if i could somehow convince her to let me in, but i knew i couldn't.
outside the bar, my bladder started to protest. peering through the rain, i spotted a patch of green.
i stumbled towards it, made sure no one was watching, and relieved myself, watching the smaller stream merge with the larger one falling from the sky. scrambling to my feet only resulted in me falling again, and it took a concerted effort to get back up.
eventually, i made it back to my hotel.
the proprietress, despite her initial reluctance, allowed me in. i shed my soaked clothes and stood under the shower, letting the warm water wash over me. mud collected in the drain, and somewhere out there was ian, probably on his way back to his home in one of the suburbs of são luís, or perhaps a nearby village.
he was likely wet and cold too, but might not have the luxury of hot water whenever he wanted.
the next day, i ventured out to a bar that was packed with gay couples, drag queens, and people with gender identities that, as a straight foreigner, i couldn't fully grasp.
it felt like a queer wave was sweeping across the americas. and yet, some remain skeptical.
it takes bravery to be queer. i even saw a police car stop in front of the bar called "queer" as i walked by. the officers didn't stay long and didn't venture far from their vehicle, but there was a noticeable tension in the air, a silence born of fear.
i can imagine things being even worse in the united states.
i think of the skeptical looks on the faces of otherwise progressive people when the topic of transgender individuals comes up, awkward like most discussions about "the other" when no one from that group is present, like white people pontificating about race.
maybe some people identify as queer simply to fit in.
maybe adolescents with still-developing brains shouldn't undergo gender-affirming surgery. perhaps trans women haven't experienced the same lifetime of sexism as cis women. as a straight cis man, it's hard for me to say.
my experiences in são luís, my brief encounter with ian, who may not have even been queer, led me to a familiar slogan: 'it gets better.' feeling weary and a bit depressed, i spent much of the following day in my hotel room, hiding from the storm.
but then, in the afternoon, i heard drumming, chanting, and singing.
men, women, boys, and girls were throwing handfuls of white powder at each other. everyone was covered in white, and when some landed on me, i felt included. people and vehicles were parading through the old town, led by drums and trumpets.
in the back of an old pickup truck, a drag queen danced to the music, voguing when she saw me taking photos with my phone.
excited and feeling lighter for the first time since the previous evening, i walked around the surrounding blocks to get a better view of the parade.
a large yellow object at the front of the parade came into view, though it was hard to make out in the haze. this experience, the music, the energy, the sense of community, reminded me that there's always hope, even in the face of adversity.
beyond são luís: exploring brazil's gay scene
while my experience in são luís was unique, brazil offers a diverse range of experiences for lgbtq+ travelers.
from bustling cities to stunning natural landscapes, there's something for everyone.
bonito: adventure and natural beauty
consider booking a boat and snorkeling tour through the jungle along the prata or sucuri rivers.
you'll be immersed in some of the clearest waters on earth, surrounded by incredible biodiversity. you can reach bonito via the campo grande bus terminal or pantanal, both journeys taking around five hours. some tour operators in pantanal even include transport to or from bonito for free, simplifying your travel arrangements.
são paulo: the largest and gayest city
são paulo is a clear winner for party animals.
the city boasts an array of lounges, bars, clubs, and pubs, perfect for cruising and socializing. the gay scene is primarily located in the jardins quarter, nestled between the financial district of avenida paulista and the trendy r. oscar freire shopping district. from colonial-era cathedrals to historic theaters, são paulo is also steeped in history.
even its coffee houses hold a story, such as café girondino, the oldest café in the city.
florianópolis: island vibes and chilled atmosphere
florianópolis, also known as floripa, is a popular summer vacation destination for brazilians, thanks to its relaxed atmosphere and festive spirit.
international travelers are drawn to the unique blend of portuguese colonial influence with german and italian merchant cultures, which is reflected in the food, local accents, and lifestyles. floripa carnival attracts people from across the country, offering less stress and less chaos than its larger counterparts.
gay florianópolis continues to thrive after carnival, with events like the parada da diversidade (diversity parade) and the pop gay drag competition.
just a short taxi ride from the island, the towns of camboiú and curitiba also offer gay nightlife on a smaller scale. santa catarina, the seaside region where florianópolis is located, is generally open-minded towards same-sex relationships, with anti-homophobia laws in place since.
iguazu falls: a breathtaking natural wonder
prepare to be amazed by iguazu falls, located on the border with argentina.
it's the largest waterfall system in the world, often referred to as "the mother of all niagaras." thousands of gallons of paraná river water plummet each second through a massive volcanic crack. foz do iguaçu is the closest city to the park, and numerous tourist-friendly towns surround it, all generally considered gay-friendly.
even though it takes just 1.2 miles the trek feels shorter with a friend.
lençóis maranhenses national park: a surreal desert landscape
a must-see in brazil is the lençóis maranhenses national park, a desert-water landscape that served as the location for planet vormir in "avengers: infinity war." even if you're not a marvel fan, you'll be captivated by this surreal natural wonder: a desert dotted with rainwater lagoons, rivers, and mangrove swamps that flow into the ocean.
it's as much a coastal environment as it is a desert, comprised of midnight blue ponds stretching across a vast expanse of open land.
visit lençóis in winter (between june and september) to see the lagoons at their fullest. walking shoes, sun protection, and plenty of water are essential.
trunks are optional for a dip in a lagoon after a long trek. start your day early with a four-hour journey, entering the park through barreirinhas, a sophisticated visitor village with lodging and entertainment. from there, the park is yours to explore. you can also take optional adventures on the preguicas river for paddleboarding, kayaking, and mangrove swamp tours.
two alternate entrances to the park are located on the opposite side - santo amaro and atins - catering to travelers seeking solitude and basic accommodation.
these remote locations offer a unique experience, attracting nomad kiteboarders with a quirky boat bar called bar. making wi-fi irrelevant.
brasilia: architecture and green spaces
brasilia, meticulously planned and built over four years, is a city designed to impress.
its grand architectural plan resembles an airplane from above, and it features numerous large parks and green spaces. while the utopian vision behind brasilia may fall short in some areas, especially regarding traffic, short-term visitors will find it captivating.
the gay scene in brasilia is small but established, with bars, clubs, and saunas in the asa sul area. the city's excellent food scene makes a post-party breakfast a must.
chapada veadeiros: eco-tourism and natural wonders
chapada veadeiros, a vast central space with unique rock formations, waterfalls, and natural swimming spots, will keep eco-tourists happy for days.
its enchanting cerrado scenery is perfect for hiking and wildlife watching. patient visitors may spot jaguars, armadillos, toucans, and other animals in this protected natural habitat. alto paraíso de goias and são jorge are two towns near the southern entrance to chapada veadeiros, offering lodging and amenities for park visitors.
fernando de noronha: volcanic archipelago and pristine beaches
giving florianópolis some competition is the beautiful volcanic archipelago of fernando de noronha, off the northeast coast.
this rugged island, beloved by locals, offers more than just a typical island getaway. the largest island, morro do pico, spans only 17 kilometers but rises dramatically into the sky, resembling a giant phallus.
besides the phallus-shaped rocks, visitors can admire deserted beaches and lush tropical forests clinging to cliffs and volcanoes.
ecotourism is booming on noronha, and your pousada host will go the extra mile to make your trip memorable. all visitors must pay an environmental tax, ensuring the islands remain well-managed and sustainable. high season is during the dry season from september to january, but fares and accommodation rates will be higher.
declared a maritime national park and unesco world heritage site, the archipelago is now almost entirely protected, meaning conservation regulations are strict.
snorkeling is a popular activity, especially in baia de sueste, where shallow-water coral reefs provide a playground for sea turtles.
baia do sancho is another excellent snorkeling spot with clear waters, steep cliffs, and few people, earning it the title of "best beach in brazil." scuba diving off the shore of baia do sancho may reward you with sightings of tuna, barracuda, and small sharks. atalaia beach is another underwater paradise, requiring a one-hour trek to reach a series of natural pools teeming with tropical fish, octopi, and more sharks.
whether you're seeking a resort vacation, wildlife safari, city break, luxury cruise, wellness retreat, honeymoon, adventure, or weekend escape, brazil offers a diverse range of experiences.
plan your trip carefully to make the most of your time in this vibrant and welcoming country.